My sister gave birth to her first baby on Friday, and talking with her about the birth has really flooded me with memories.
As she described her daughter's emergence into the world, I remembered so clearly the crowning and the final pushes. I pushed for nearly three hours. X was sunny-side-up, and his position made this part extremely difficult.
I remember being told to push, push harder. Put your chin to your chest. Pull on the sheet (attached to the bar over the bed) and concentrate!
Now, wait! Don't push. Wait, wait.
Then, his head was free. I needed to push again, and again.
Suddenly his warm, tiny body was swimming out of me in a rush of fluid. All the support nurses sprang into action. I lay back, overwhelmed, wanting to hold my tiny baby, waiting for him to be handed to me.
Pride and grief mingled. I had done it -- delivered my baby -- but I would no longer feel his swimming movements inside. He was in my world. In our world. He was taking his first breaths.
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Indigestion
The indigestion started at the beginning of December, 2009. It was constant. It was awful. My stomach hurt. I complained to my husband, we tried various antacids, but they barely took the edge off.
I was under a lot of stress at the time. I began to think I had developed an ulcer.
Or a milk allergy. Yogurt also seemed to upset me more than usual. Was I becoming lactose intolerant?
By Christmas, my husband was as worried as I.
Then, inspiration struck. My husband asked on Christmas day, "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
My answer? An emphatic NOPE. It wasn't possible. I had PCOS. Endometriosis. I couldn't be pregnant. We'd been trying for a year to get pregnant. I had surgery to correct some of my issues, and had taken three rounds of Clomid with no ovulation. I'd had a period in August, but that seemed like a fluke. I hadn't had one since, but I certainly didn't FEEL pregnant. And, surely, I couldn't be four MONTHS pregnant without knowing it. So, nope. I had an ulcer. Or giardiasis. I was going to call the doctor after Christmas.
My husband told me, "I'm going to get you a home pregnancy test tomorrow morning, first thing." Then he went to cook our Christmas dinner -- turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes. Usually a favorite of mine, this time the aroma of the cooking meal made me sick to my stomach. Oh, I was definitely sick.
The next day, true to his word, he went out for a home pregnancy test. He brought it to me and I said, with a roll of the eyes, "Okay. I'll be back in three minutes."
Four minutes later, I was stumbling down the steps in a daze, gripping the positive test stick. "Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!" And we started laughing, crying, hugging. We were going to be parents.
I was under a lot of stress at the time. I began to think I had developed an ulcer.
Or a milk allergy. Yogurt also seemed to upset me more than usual. Was I becoming lactose intolerant?
By Christmas, my husband was as worried as I.
Then, inspiration struck. My husband asked on Christmas day, "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
My answer? An emphatic NOPE. It wasn't possible. I had PCOS. Endometriosis. I couldn't be pregnant. We'd been trying for a year to get pregnant. I had surgery to correct some of my issues, and had taken three rounds of Clomid with no ovulation. I'd had a period in August, but that seemed like a fluke. I hadn't had one since, but I certainly didn't FEEL pregnant. And, surely, I couldn't be four MONTHS pregnant without knowing it. So, nope. I had an ulcer. Or giardiasis. I was going to call the doctor after Christmas.
My husband told me, "I'm going to get you a home pregnancy test tomorrow morning, first thing." Then he went to cook our Christmas dinner -- turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes. Usually a favorite of mine, this time the aroma of the cooking meal made me sick to my stomach. Oh, I was definitely sick.
The next day, true to his word, he went out for a home pregnancy test. He brought it to me and I said, with a roll of the eyes, "Okay. I'll be back in three minutes."
Four minutes later, I was stumbling down the steps in a daze, gripping the positive test stick. "Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!" And we started laughing, crying, hugging. We were going to be parents.